My Vagina is More Important Than Yours

I have not always been what some would call a "good friend" to the women in my life.  This is mostly due to what one would expect the root causes to be 1. insecurity, okay so that's really the only reason. I viewed the world as me....and then all other females on some sort of other invisible side of an arbitrary line.

When I went into a classroom, I quickly surveyed the room, ranking myself in the predetermined lists I had compiled in my brain. This was to solidify proper decision making in respect to seating arrangements "Nope, can't sit next to them, their hair is too long."  I had a lot of rankings in my head in high school the following is a short list of some of them:

1. waist size
2. jean size
3. hair color
4. popularity
5. bra size
6. how many friends they had
7. lunch table positioning

No matter how I diced it I never really came in "first" in any of these scenarios.  I would be satisfied, however, if I didn't come in dead last.  That always made me feel better.

After high school I decided that I didn't really need friends, or anyone, so I was by myself a lot.  That was cool, I had a car, an mp3 player, and I listened to a lot of soundtrack music.

One day at the College of Du Page as I was sitting there listening to United States History Post-Reconstruction,  I was asked if I wanted to participate in a wizarding live-action role playing game.  I wore a lot of velvets at this point in my life, so that probably attributed to the overall impression that I would be interested in that sort of thing.  I am not casting aspersions on anyone who does this, it just isn't for me as it would require my interacting with strangers on a social level.  At the time, my exceptionally busy on-line forum posting career was burgeoning and I just didn't have the hours in the day for anything else.

Previously it has been my M.O. to every 2-3 years destroy every friendship and burn every bridge. There is a technical term for this called "self-sabotage."  I met a lot of really amazing females in my early twenties, none of whom I am still friends with.  Congratulations me.

My unyielding perception of the world from 20-23 precluded me from ever admitting I was wrong. I also would have been more than happy to share with you what a complete asshole I thought you were. Not so much in words, but by the ever popular passive-aggressive techniques.

After quite a few mistakes, after some disastrous life decisions, and alters to the course, I realized that I was a big part of the problem.  This really upset me.

One of the most painful aspects of growing up is understanding the role you play in the destruction of relationships, be they professional, friendship, or otherwise.  I am not sure if this is just a unique experience for me, but I really used to struggle with taking "ownership" of things that had/have gone wrong (I blame my mother.)

This takes us up, albeit haphazardly, to present day.

Lot's of people say things like "I hate fake people, they are so fake."

I understand the thinking behind saying things like that, but I don't understand the continual verbalization of that phrase.

Who likes fake people?  Has anyone ever come out and said "You know what, fake people are the bomb."
I thought that in order for something to be disliked, it would have to have been liked by a certain group of people in the first place?  I feel like we can stop saying things like "I don't like fake people." because no one does.

Women are often blamed for promoting this type of behavior, especially in the workplace. At the crux of it all, so many of us still feel like the 12 year old girl learning about vagina's for the first time. Instead of feeling like part of a real awesome club, I feel like we all got a different memo.

That memo would have said something like:
"My vagina is more important than yours." 

And then we all thought,
"Heck no it isn't, mine is super important and this person doesn't know what the hell they are talking about, I'm going to consult someone else regarding the content of this memo."

Then, before you know it, poor Harriet from accounting is getting fired because someone didn't like the leggings she wore that day and it's all because we thought our vagina's were more important.

In Summation:

1.  No one's vagina is more important than anyone else's.

2. Haters gonna hate all you can do is control your reaction and perception of the situation...bitches.