An Appeal To The Following Kinds of People (generally found in corporate settings)

1. Disapproval Nod-Shaker at T.V. Girl/Guy.

Let's say Barack Obama is on t.v. and they are talking about the public option. You are now shaking your head from side to side in a manner that suggests that you are displeased.

Great, thanks for that. It's good to know that you disapprove, and thanks for non-verbally communicating that to everyone else around you. It really helps to know that you are upset, but not upset enough to do anything besides shake your head.


2. The "I ask personal questions that only pertain to me in group settings" guy/girl.

I get it, I mean we are all each the most important person on the planet, so it would make sense as to why you would feel the need to disrupt a meeting (that you were late to), to make suggestions, ask questions, tell stories.

Generally speaking, a good rule of thumb at meetings is to only ask questions that may pertain to the group-at-large. If it is a personal question or statement I.E. "I own a lot of black shoes with tassels on them, I'm that dude." Then believe me, it's just better if you wait until after the meeting is over.

3. "The I use ellipsis unnecessarily at the end of e-mails or otherwise . . ." girl/guy.

When you write back in an e-mail, do not respond in this way.

"Thanks . . ."

What does that mean? Are you intentionally leaving something out? Why have you done this, you make me feel like you don't really mean thank you. I automatically fill in what you may have left out, as suggested by your use of the ellipsis. So when you say "Thanks . . ." I see this

"Thanks . . .bitch"

And that, just really hurts my feelings.

4. The "I like to post to the bulletin board things that no-one wants/needs/desires or has ever asked for" girl/guy.

So your company has a community bulletin board that anyone is able to post to, great! How awesome that must be if you were, let us say selling something of value that other people might be interested in purchasing, tickets, a car, etc.

But the bulletin board is almost never used for posting things people actually want, instead you will get 4 e-mails about contributing to a fundraiser by Sally Q. Person, she's selling bread made from her bread machine (which she ordered from the Pampered Chef ) and home made nut spread.

We're not interested in your nut spread. I know that "Cathy" has to attend this really expensive volleyball camp (I mean how else is she ever going to make it in white-suburban Midwestern America?) but there are a lot of people out there actually suffering right now.

Also, I don't buy homemade nut spread from just anyone.

and lastly,

5. The "I will never do a favor for you, so don't you dare fucking ask me" girl/guy

We all know people like this. You are putting them out by even suggesting that they do anything aside from showing up to work. Interactions usually go like this:

"Hey can you please look up a number for me?"

"Sure."

That seemed easy right? It, however, is generally followed a lot of VERY AGGRESSIVE paper shuffling, and the utterances of swear words.

Don't even THINK ABOUT TALKING to that person for the rest of the day, because they are REALLY fucking busy okay? They didn't even have time to look up that number for you, and NOW that they had to do that, well you've just really royally fucked everything up. How the hell are they going to catch up with all the work they have now? You know how many things have piled up from the time you asked them for that number until right now? Great going asshole!